I use the term “transformative” to distinguish what I do from the more manipulative approaches to mediation (some other mediators see it as their goal to move the parties in a certain direction, and they use a variety of techniques to do so). “Transformative” reflects the reality that people generally see their conflict differenty after a good converation, but not because the mediator pushed them in a certain direction.
My approach simply involves helping you and the other party have the best possible conversation. By best possible, I mean a conversation in which you and the other part(ies) get to say what you want to each other, without concern that the mediator will cut you off or re-direct you in any way. You will get to ask the others whatever questions you want to ask them. You’ll also get to make your own choice about whether and when you meet with the other parties, to meet just with the mediator, or to consult with anyone else you want to talk to. In sum, you will get to make your own decisions about everything.
I’m there to support you in making those decisions. To enhance the conversation, I’ll sometimes reflect what one person has said or summarize what more than one person has said. The emphasis is always on your choices about what you want to do next. This approach is the one that is most likely to lead to progress with your situation, often including a complete settlement of whatever you’re disputing.
In the mediation I experienced with Dan Simon, we only needed 2 hours of a scheduled 3, and the couple came to agreement on all of their issues, and they did so in a way that appeared to make it more likely that they would continue to get along as they raise their kids (and even as they contemplate making another try at their marriage). Read more- Maggie Murphy, Attorney, St. Paul, MN